"I was so sad one night just after we moved to Grand Rapids, and I was trying to find the words to tell Aaron how I was feeling, and this was the only way I could describe it: when I lived in Santa Barbara, my friends had a Jack Russell terrier named Little, and when Little had puppies, I helped take care of them. There were six of them in a cardboard box, and they huddled together to keep each other warm, and they didn't want to be held, even if you held them very tight, because really they just wanted to be back in the box with the other puppies. I told Aaron that I felt like someone took me out of the box, and all I wanted was to be back with the rest of the little puppies who kept me warm."
All through high school, I loved having groups through Young Life Campaigners, Camp Tecumseh cabins, and little Youth Group circles where adults that I loved and idolized took a bunch of crazy high school girls under their wings and into their hearts and cared and loved us. I learned so much from them, and loved living life with them and the other puppies in our box. One of my favorite parts of coming home for a weekend or for a break is seeing those women who have become my role models, and even though I'm at Drake and not in Young Life or Youth Group anymore, they still genuinely care and want to know about me and how I'm doing. I am so thankful for them.
My whole life, I've always been the little puppy. It wasn't until a couple months ago when one of my puppy moms introduced the idea of each of her puppies having puppies of their own. My first reaction was disappointment because I didn't have a campaigners group or cabin full of girls to call my own. But then I really thought about it, and names and faces kept popping into my head. Michelle, Alexis, Morgan, Danielle, Caitlin, Emily, Alyssa, Hanna, Caleigh, Christina, Megan, Kassidy, Abby, Hadley. So maybe we're not an organized group that meets every Monday at 8:30, but these girls mean so much to me. They probaby don't even know, but I'm purely obsessed with them. If I could, and I definitely contemplate it, I would live every moment of every day with these girls. I care about everything they do and wish that I had all the time in the world to talk to each of them everyday about how they really are and what's on their heart. I want to support them and love them and live life with them.
(I don't have a picture of them all, but here's some)
So, since that's not really practical, I did the next best thing. I wrote them letters.
I hope they all realize that I poured my heart into each letter. I hope they all know that I love them and care about them more than they know. I hope they believe me when I say that I am and will always be here for them, no matter the time, and I do and will always love them, no matter what they do. They're so great and beautiful and have immeasurable potential, and I can only hope that our relationships continue through their high school and college years. I love you all, girls.
"They taught me more than I ever taught them, and they gave me more than I ever gave them, and the best things they gave to me were ten gorgeous examples and all the permission in the world to love with that wide-open love, unmeasured and uncalculated, like a puppy in a box with all of her puppy-friends, right up close to them, feeling warm and safe."
Yes. This is life. You are changing the world Sarah Mooney. I love that your life isn't just about you but it's about loving these girls well. They are so lucky that you care so much about them. Those letters, your prayers, the countless texts and phonecalls and wall posts are making a giant difference in their lives.
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