"Nobody understands."

FFC youth group got back from Stronghold this afternoon.  I got 3 calls once they got their phones back on the bus.  Those three phone calls, along with one more and a Skype call later on, made my day.  I felt so special that they still wanted to call me and tell me about everything even though I couldn't be there.  I loved that Hadley had the entire bus say hi to me.  I loved that Michelle was getting journals taken away from her cause she was talking to me and not writing.  I loved that Alyssa was still crying and that she handed the phone to Matt to talk to me as a surprise.  I was so glad to catch them such a short time after leaving Stronghold so that they all still had that Stronghold attitude going.  I felt so blessed that they called me that I literally broke down crying once Hadley had everyone say hi to me, and didn't stop until a couple minutes after hanging up with Matt.

Once they were home, Michelle and Alyssa Skyped me and gave me a quick run-down of the first day before I had to go to a group project meeting.  They were still so Stronghold, and I loved seeing that in both of them.

After chapter, I talked to Hadley on the phone, and we cried together, each cuddled up on our own bed, on the phone for over an hour.  I loved this.  I loved hearing how Stronghold was different, but still so much the same.  I literally can not get over her honesty.  I just love it and it is so refreshing all the time.  Even with things about Stronghold, where there are serious emotions flowing, I was thankful that she let it all out.  We cried about promises and experiences and words and conversations and hugs and crying and lasts and the past and the future and her being a senior next year.  She thinks she's not ready and that she won't do well, but I just wish she knew the potential I see in her.  I am so certain that she will make her senior Stronghold exactly what it should be.  It's a scary thing for sure, but she's grown so much, even since last March, that I am confident in her as a leader of FFCYG.

Hadley said it so simply, but so correctly, "Nobody understands."

It's too true.  Unless you've been there with FFC, you can not understand all that Stronghold is.  And that is so frustrating, especially when you come back and want to be different from before and want everything to be as great at home as it was at Stronghold.  I don't know the answer or the best solution to this, but I think the fact that it is so different is what makes it so special.

I was listening to my Stronghold playlist today, and for the first time, realized how great these lyrics are.

it's like the best days under the sun every emotion rolled into one.

a little of this a little of that,

kinda happy, kinda sad.

oh man, we were living 

going crazy in the kitchen, 

we danced and screamed and held each other tight.

we laughed until we cried.